The Funniest Named Cannabis Strains
You might find a plethora of guides online telling you which cannabis strains to have recreationally or medicinally. Some are just great for sparking a creative high, some are ideal for having fun in a crowd with fits of giggles and laughter, while others work wonders to cure anxiety or sleeping disorders.
But here’s the thing: many among us, especially those just starting out in the wonderful world of cannabis have no idea what a certain strain is supposed to do and tend to pick it up based on the name alone.
Cannabis Strains – What’s in a Name Anyway?
There was a time – in the days of yore, when marijuana was just marijuana – all green, full of seeds and stems, and typically sold as compacted bricks that flew in straight from Mehico. There weren’t any fancy names to identify with back then.
But fast forward about half a century from that simple era – a time when cannabis had seeped a lot more into people’s consciousness – and you can see that clearly some innovative branding efforts have been made. Now, you can’t just settle for plain old Mexican cannabis, you want the sought after “Meshmecan” variety.
And the rest came strolling along one after the next: Colombian Red Bud, Thai Stick, Maui Wowie and so on. All these trippy and hilarious strain titles were rooted well in place, seeking to make not just high THC content but also marijuana smoking exoticism a key selling point.
Why Some Strains Have Funny Names
Over the last few decades, strain names have ranged from whacky and whimsical to downright serious and profound. Some of the most sought after strains got their titles from their evolutionary history. However, some have also gotten theirs from the grower’s intent, while others are the result of urban mythology. And there are still a few that are plain marketing hype.
For marketing purposes, cannabis strains have been given memorable and funny names in order to leave a lasting impression on their target audience.
Let’s say if you had to choose between two strains, both of which were unheard of, and you weren’t allowed to inspect or research before making a choice – would you rather select a strain that sounded plan boring and dull or one which sounded awesome, exciting and even downright hilarious?
Here at Seedsman, we have a confession to make: we are all amused deeply by the whacky and funny names growers have been coming up with over the years and are dead certain that you are too. So go ahead and put on your “funny reading glasses” as we talk about some of the funniest cannabis strain names ever:
The Funniest Cannabis Strain Names
Crouching Tiger Hidden Alien
We laughed out pretty hard after coming across this one for the very first time because clearly, someone was spaced out when coming up with the name. Whatever the strain means though, it is a hot commodity in dispensaries across the US.
The strain is a cross between Starfigher and Tiger’s Milk, neither of which are ironically popular. It is indica dominant with strong effects – the kind that are euphoric, relaxing and psychedelic. The confirmed 21+ percent THC means you can certainly enjoy a gift from the stars with this insanely named strain.
Blue Balls
Well, what can we say? If you love blue balls and blueberries, you’ll love this strain. Blue Balls is a cross between the classic Chemdawg and Blueberry by DJ short. We’re not exactly sure what the “balls” part signifies but the experience is not bad at all: heavy indica effects along with heady sativa effects.
Have some blue balls and you’re in for a sedative and relaxing experience.
Brown Bomber
If you’ve seen the American comedy flick “Grandma’s Boy” then you should have no trouble identifying with the name Brown Bomber. The strain’s ultra-potent knockout effects is akin to therapeutic cleaning vibrations – kind of like that “I shi**my pants after smoking it” feeling.
Perhaps you’ve already tried a strain with such a “crappy” effect – if you have, then everyone knows you pooped your pants at least once this week!
Cheesy Dick
Down in the dumps? Upset about how your boss didn’t give you credit for that critical report you prepared over the weekend? Perhaps, a little Cheesy Dick is all you need.
Jokes aside though, the strain offers a relaxing and sedating while the heavy hitting indica content will certainly knock you flat out on the couch. The buds look dank, dense and lumpy while the pungent cheesy aroma is something you may or may not like right away.
History lesson: the “Cheesy” in the strain comes from the parent Big Budda Cheese strain while the “Dick” comes from the secondary parent Moby Dick. Give it a chance we say – the 95% will surely cure the blues and knock you out nicely for a while.
Charlie Sheen
There’s no need to squint because you read that right – Charlie Sheen is a strain of cannabis and we’re giving it our “Two and a Half” thumbs up if you know what we mean!
The strain is a hybrid cross of Green Crack, OG Kush and Blue Dream – all Cannabis Award winners. The indica qualities pack a nice punch, thanks to the over 20% THC content. The effects are crazy to say the least, so the strain’s name shouldn’t come as a surprise then, should it?
Premium quality top-shelf buds, a pine and lemon aroma and flavours reminiscent of a sweet kush strain, Charlie Sheen will surely excite and please your senses.
Chuck Norris Black & Blue Dream
Are you looking for a strain with somewhat of a “kick” to it? Look no further.
The strain is a phenotype of the Blue Dream strain, although we’re guessing Chuck Norris Black & Blue Dream is either a clever marketing tactic or some wise guy’s idea of a joke, or both maybe.
Gaining popularity in 2011, the Black and Blue Dream strain became known in dispensaries all over LA. Even though the meme-legend Norris never approved his name for the strain, no legal actions have been taken to date.
Our honest two cents: the strain’s name is hilarious in every way imaginable because no one ever gets on Chuck Norris’s bad side and lives. Is there anyone out there who can top Chuck Norris buds? We think not.
Cat Piss
A cannabis strain hailing straight from the Puna District in Hawaii, Cat Piss offers superb quality indica buds although the overpowering and pungent smell of urine is something that might take getting used to.
You might have heard stories of growers using their own fresh liquid waste as a cannabis fertiliser – luckily Cat Piss has no relation to any such “processes” or cat piss for that matter. We’re fairly certain that it doesn’t.
Locals and newcomers in the Big Island, Hawaii region love this cannabis variety because of its mould resistant properties and its ability to grow in one of the world’s rainiest regions.
Alaskan Thunderf**k
In the history of marijuana, we believe this is one of the greatest names ever invented, period!
Hailing from Alaska, the strain features a nice and fruity taste that leaves majority of smokers dry-mouthed and salivating for a lot more. Get ready, because the thunder will hit you pretty hard, but you’ll still feel quite happy and positive after all is said and done.
Trainwreck
The experience can only be described as a speeding train headed for impending doom, but in a really fun way. You’re going to get blasted and wrecked by the high as well as the flavour. But hey, don’t go on this adventure alone – stick to a friend or two in case the wreck proves to be more than you can handle.
Schnazzleberry
We’re not quite sure how the name originated although some cannabis old-timers believe that it pays homage to Willy Wonka’s snozzberries. If you want to relax on the couch and enjoy some down time from your busy routine, Schnazzleberry will definitely get you there. It’s also particularly useful for making hash and vaping.
Bob Saget OG
If you grew up in the 80s, then you are no stranger to the iconic sit-com Full House, but that’s not the only thing actor Bob Saget is famous for. He’s also had a near-decade long stint hosting America’s Funniest Home Videos.
What actually makes this strain name funny is that Saget is known for being a bodily function-oriented and foul-mouthed comic, as apparent by his version of the dirty joke The Aristocrats.
Barack O Bubba
Well now, what do we have here? Dull and humourless Democratic Party partisans may not be amused, but all of us can safely get a chuckle or two out of this one, can’t we? And now that Mr. Obama is no longer in office, you can certainly escape the realities of the world left behind after smoking this strain.
Dopium
We don’t really find the reference to other drugs so unusual because the idea here is that some marijuana strains really are as strong as opium.
We hope this list has provided you with some quality entertainment. Go ahead and take some of these strains for a spin – although we can’t guarantee the effects will be as funny with every strain.
